The Big E went back to school yesterday after Monday and Tuesday cancellations due to extreme cold, making a grand total of five weather days in the last month. Woo hoo! No school! Before I catalog a number of our scholarly activities, allow me to express how grateful I am for the familial flexibility that allows me to care for my son during periods of unexpected furlough.
Here are the highlights of our time together:
1) Fieldtrip to Target to purchase a new vacuum. The Big E unpacked and assembled it. Then he spent 2.5 hours experimenting with the various attachments. Best. Toy. Ever.
2) My charming son combined a couple recipes, formulating a new cleaning solution. I suggested that perhaps we could start with a quantity smaller than a gallon. He successfully halved the recipe. After we funneled the foamy potion into a spray bottle, he set about documenting functionality. I provided rags.
3) No sleeping in for us! The Big E woke up raring to go at 6:41 Monday morning. Me: “Go eat ice cream or sharpen knives or something. I just need ten more minutes…” Tuesday I set the alarm so Rafa wouldn’t be late for his vet appointment. The vet is conveniently located across the street from Keys Café and Bakery. The Big E and I ordered dessert for breakfast: hot chocolate and Belgian waffles with powdered sugar. My son declined the Log Cabin syrup upon learning that it doesn’t come from trees, swelling my heart in a moment of maternal pride. I was content to douse my own waffle in corn syrup and anemic imported strawberries.
4) The Big E ate dessert for lunch that day, too, in a breakfast replay featuring organic maple syrup and real butter.
5) We tried to go sledding with a school buddy. The mothers and sons got all bundled up and drove to a suitable hill. Halfway up the hill we understood why we were the only ones present as the wind whipped up over the crest in a 40 mph demonstration of Bernoulli’s Principle. The gale ripped the sleds from our hands and deposited them a quarter mile away on the neighboring golf course. Ice cream seemed a natural antidote to our weather woes.
6) The Big E dragged out every available edible petroleum byproduct and began building a cabin. “Mama, I just made the lake. I made it out of sprinkles. I didn’t actually try to make it this deep.”
7) I subjected my son to a Disney movie. Frozen, of course. He tolerated it. I went into it biased by Philip Cohen’s article, “’Help, My Eyeball Is Bigger Than My Wrist!’: Gender Dimorphism in Frozen”. I’d like to add a few addenda to Dr. Cohen’s insightful commentary.
a) “Help, my eyeball is bigger than my waist!”
b) “Help, I’m deferring to my husband and he’s an idiot!”
c) “Help, I created this awesome ice palace and forgot to make a kitchen!”
d) “Help, I’m subsisting entirely on one handful of chocolate!”
e) “Help, I’m in renal failure because I NEVER PEE!”
f) Help, Disney thinks redheads and trolls add sufficient diversity!
g) Help, “Let It Go” sounds like a Gym Class Heroes tune! (start each vid at :55)
h) Hooray, Disney mocked its own True Love’s Kiss trope!
i) Hooray, females can save themselves!
j) Hooray, Kristen Bell knows how to sing!
8) I envisioned writing a story together, The Big E and I, and then asking Rafa to play the various (costumed) roles. Maybe we’ll write one on Friday when we have a scheduled release day. Argh.
