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Author Archives: anne
All We Are Saying…
My son writes in a journal each week as part of his homework. The teacher gives the children prompts, much like the prompts used in my writing groups. This week the eight through eleven-year-olds will tackle “What is peace? What … Continue reading
Spring Was Here (And will be again. Eventually.)
My mind is entirely blank, wiped clean by perpetually subzero temperatures. The bright sun mocks me: “Come play! Ha ha!” One step outside and any exposed skin shrivels up and falls off. I used to peruse Botanica’s Annuals and Perennials … Continue reading
Chester!
Thanks to everyone who suggested names for our new pooch. Here is an exhaustive list of all the names that were under consideration: Alastair, Albert, Alvin, Angus, Axel Bertram, Bo, Bodie, Boris, Branford, Buddy, Burl, Buster Caleb, Charlie, Chester, Clarence, Cosmo, Cyrus Duncan Eddie, Eli, Elias, Elmer Fergus, Finlay, Finn, Frederick, Fritz Grover, Gus Hammer Time, Herman James Jr., Jasper, Jerry, Josiah, Juniper, Jupiter Karma Lance, Lancelot, Larry, Loki, Louie Mac, … Continue reading
Breaking News: Hell Freezes Over
Residents of the Twin Cities awoke Thursday morning to discover that they were in Hell and that Hell had, in fact, frozen over. Rain late Wednesday turned to snow, leaving two inches of packed ice under ten inches of fresh … Continue reading
It’s A Boy! And he needs a name…
Yesterday morning, The Big E and I traveled an hour-and-a-half to “look at” a puppy, an 8 week old yellow labrador retriever. Anyone who has ever seen an 8 week old yellow labrador retriever puppy already knows the end of … Continue reading
The Bonds of Gravity
I am ultimately tethered to you, Earth. Rooted by gravity. Handcuffed to a resource I simultaneously crave and exploit. In the bondage of gravitational pull, I am the sadist, extinguishing entire species, poisoning the groundwater, coaxing oil from your secret … Continue reading
Top Ten Reasons Physicians Make Impossible Parents
10) We force our kids to learn correct anatomical names by age two. “No, Billy, that’s your scrotum with two testes tucked inside at the appropriate temperature for eventual spermatogenesis.” 9) Doctors’ work schedules uniformly suck. I suggest a life-size … Continue reading
Doggie Writing Exercises
1) One of my writing buddies suggested a vicious exercise – write for five minutes without using the letter “e”. If you have a few minutes, give this exercise a try and I’ll post what you write. To My Dog … Continue reading
Everyday Physics: In Which We Explore Antoine Lavoisier’s Law of Conservation of Mass
I’m the jewelry volunteer for Steeple People Thrift Store. Whenever anyone donates a watch or necklace or fancy hair barrette or ring or dental gold (!!!) or bracelet, the item gets dumped in a plastic tub labeled “jewelry”. I haul … Continue reading