Sunday night. I just consumed cherries, a Tosca pear, orange sweet pepper, raspberries, and eight ounces of Citrucel in my after-the-fair cleansing ritual. Begone mini donuts! Get thee away deep-deep-deep-fried perch!
Still giddy from my Friday Fair success (I went home with the correct number of children – 2 – one mine and one borrowed.), I returned to the fairgrounds today for round two. We escaped before the heat index became unbearable. The Big E and I took to bed and I now find myself sufficiently refreshed to write The Top Ten Reasons I Love the MN State Fair.
In other words, petroleum products.
10) Free pass on questionable parenting decisions. Comes with the entrance ticket. You can feed your kid whatever awful food you like and no one will judge you. Foot long corn dogs. Deep-fried butter. Funnel cake. 
Anything goes. I even let my son and borrowed daughter play with pretend firearms at the BONANZA Old West shooting gallery.
9) Speaking of Food. You can devote the entire duration of your visit to food. Thinking about food. Searching for food. Coveting food. Eating food. Critiquing food. Observing food over its life cycle (conveniently-located restrooms litter the grounds). You can even purchase and consume alcohol early Sunday morning! 
Dead cookie.
No, it’s not octopus poop. It’s Funnel Cake After the Rain.
Foods consumed during the fair are exempt from medical censure. And anything you can think of is available in a deep-fried format. 
Better yet, try your favorite foods…
Smoked Salmon on a Stick with lingonberry jam. AWESOME.
8) On a Stick. I don’t know if this on-a-stick fascination is peculiar to Minnesota or if it generalizes to all fairs. Some foods lend themselves to sticks: dill pickles (“pickle dogs”), deep-fried buckeyes. Others do not: steak for small children. Lacking a knife, I ripped the cow into bite-sized chunks with my fingers and handy opposable thumbs. Borrowed Daughter’s loose tooth thanked me.
7) The State Fair gives me ample opportunity to enjoy my earthbound state. I watch the Human Slingshot hurl people seven stories up and shudder. Thank you sweet baby Buddha for gravity. With names like Stinger, Viper, Zipper, and Kamikaze, the Fair rides hold absolutely zero allure. More money for food-on-a-stick!
6) People. According to the Star Tribune, 178,498 folks attended the Fair on Saturday August 23. Ironically, about 180,000 people die each year from consumption of sugary drinks. But back to living people. The Fair provides a lovely smorgasbord of people. As usual, I noticed a large number of pregnant women. (We used to send expectant mother to the State Fair to induce labor.) I was in the distinct minority with my lack of tattoos.
The Best Hair of the Fair award goes to this anonymous couple (photo taken without permission).
5) Crop Art. Lillian Colton, the Goddess of Crop Art, passed away in 2007. I’m certain that her residual spirit energy is coalescing into a grin at this year’s entries.
4) The Creative Activities Building – or What Minnesotans Did Last Winter.
Leather Lincoln hat
Gorgeous fused glass platter
Woolies with penis protector
3) The Fair allowed me to continue my love affair with all things Outlander.
2.5) Animals. Doggies, bunnies, horses, muskelunge.
2) The Fair helps restore my faith in humanity. From the wholesome teenagers hanging out at the Midway discussing where they go to school to crowds cheering for a newborn lamb at the Miracle of Birth Center. I’m continually impressed with the lack of crabbiness as thousands of people mill and swarm over the 360 acres.
The Gadget Guy – A MN State Fair institution!
Butter princess sculptures
Jello Salad Ice Cream is ONE ITEM
1) And the number one reason I love the State Fair is that it allows us to celebrate what makes Minnesota unique –
celebrate in an understated, self-deprecating manner, of course.