Tag Archives: parenting

Parenting: The Easiest Way to Get Arrested

Last week I completed my 45th year on earth.  I feel like I’ve hit true mid-life, though statistically speaking I suppose I could be well past. My mom sustained a spinal cord injury in the 1950s that left her with … Continue reading

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America, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Sociopaths

Target shelves Frank Sinatra next to Britney Spears.  Ol’ Blue Eyes getting a posthumous eyeful.  I found myself in the “pop music” section a couple weeks back, ostensibly to research a Rihanna tune. The middle school choir at the Big … Continue reading

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Unholy Grail: The Quest for Elsa’s Dress

Numerous publications ran articles last week regarding the extreme prices some parents are willing to pay to get their paws on Disney’s sold-out Elsa dress.  For those living in sublime ignorance of this consumerist lovefest and the movie upon which … Continue reading

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Into the Arena: Arming our Children for Life

I opened my computer yesterday morning to check email and the Comcast headlines assaulted me.  Developing story.  Stabbing rampage at a high school.  I had two thoughts initially: 1) Oh no.  Here we go again.  2) Thank goodness it wasn’t … Continue reading

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Top Ten Reasons Physicians Make Impossible Parents

10) We force our kids to learn correct anatomical names by age two.  “No, Billy, that’s your scrotum with two testes tucked inside at the appropriate temperature for eventual spermatogenesis.” 9) Doctors’ work schedules uniformly suck.  I suggest a life-size … Continue reading

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The Seedy Underbelly of Spontaneous Homeschooling

The Big E went back to school yesterday after Monday and Tuesday cancellations due to extreme cold, making a grand total of five weather days in the last month.  Woo hoo!  No school!  Before I catalog a number of our … Continue reading

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Bucking Tradition – An Annotated Pictorial Rendering of the Final Nail in the Coffin of my Pastry Chef Aspirations

In junior high, I developed a profound love for sheep.  Not a fetish, but definitely a mild obsession.  My collection expanded to the point that we could decorate for Christmas exclusively with sheep.  Over time, I sheared the collection to … Continue reading

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The Water’s Fine

(written with a self-imposed five-minute time limit) I’m not exactly sure why I thought the night before picture day was the right time to cut my son’s hair.  The haircut had completely slipped my mind, like a floundering eelpout, all … Continue reading

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