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Category Archives: Blog
The Best of 2017
My beloved Pomeranian, Rafa, died last May of heart failure. Naturally, I assumed Ace would be just fine with the immediate procurement of another Pom. Not so. Turns out Ace enjoyed the relative dearth of barking. I continued my daily … Continue reading
The Seven Banned Words of Trump
I thought he was kidding. My husband asked, “Hey, did you see that tiny blurb in the Star Tribune about Trump banning the CDC from using certain words?” What? After nearly a year of madness, I shouldn’t be surprised. According … Continue reading
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Dear Al Franken
He corners me in the stairwell, away from the other kids. “Show me what’s under your underwear,” he demands, “or I’ll hurt you.” I’m scared and ashamed. I lift my skirt and show him the edge of my underwear, trying … Continue reading
Asshole
A hemorrhoid, That’s what he is. A fungating mass lurking at the anus of our democracy. Easily irritated, Readily inflamed, Leaching the lifeblood from our veins. Embarrassing. Slimy. Disgusting. We knew it could be big trouble, This … Continue reading
If the Shoe Fits
We spent last week at my in-laws’ lake shack. The conditions of my participation in lake shacking include: 1) a functioning indoor toilet 2) running water. Spiders don’t bother me in the least. I love snakes. And I can even … Continue reading
Radical Acceptance: Bad S*** Consistently Happens
Ace, The Big E, and I escaped to small-town Wisconsin for two days last week. We crossed streets without getting run over, shopped in the farmers’ market, and snarfed preternaturally sweet corn-on-the-cob. I basked in the luxury of off-line ignorance … Continue reading
Innocence
We take the bus to the debate tournament – Molly and I in our backless sweaters, convinced that feminine wiles are a major player in our offensive strategy. Where do I meet him exactly? Maybe in the hall between rounds, … Continue reading
MWF Seeking SFuPo
Hey stranger. Yeah, you. The furry one with whiskers and cute pointy ears. How about moving in with me for a long-term, committed, platonic love relationship? I’m a middle-aged gal who’s used to canine-ical polyamory. Due to the recent demise … Continue reading
Dear Class of 2017 Liberal Arts Graduates:
Congratulations. I hope you aren’t saddled with unmanageable student debt. We need to talk. I know you’re capable of reading above a third-grade level for prolonged periods of time, certainly longer than a 140-character tweet. If forced to condense my … Continue reading
