Author Archives: anne

The Best of 2017

My beloved Pomeranian, Rafa, died last May of heart failure.  Naturally, I assumed Ace would be just fine with the immediate procurement of another Pom.  Not so.  Turns out Ace enjoyed the relative dearth of barking. I continued my daily … Continue reading

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The Seven Banned Words of Trump

I thought he was kidding.  My husband asked, “Hey, did you see that tiny blurb in the Star Tribune about Trump banning the CDC from using certain words?”  What?  After nearly a year of madness, I shouldn’t be surprised. According … Continue reading

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Holiday Decorating on a #TaxBill2017 Budget

Welcome Gentle Readers! Today we will explore how to create a festive and inviting home environment even as we start in on a new gastric ulcer courtesy of #TaxBill2017. 1) Caloric Requirements: During the halcyon days of the Obama administration, … Continue reading

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Dear Al Franken

He corners me in the stairwell, away from the other kids.  “Show me what’s under your underwear,” he demands, “or I’ll hurt you.”  I’m scared and ashamed.  I lift my skirt and show him the edge of my underwear, trying … Continue reading

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Asshole

A hemorrhoid, That’s what he is. A fungating mass lurking at the anus of our democracy.   Easily irritated, Readily inflamed, Leaching the lifeblood from our veins.   Embarrassing.  Slimy.  Disgusting.   We knew it could be big trouble, This … Continue reading

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If the Shoe Fits

We spent last week at my in-laws’ lake shack.  The conditions of my participation in lake shacking include: 1) a functioning indoor toilet 2) running water. Spiders don’t bother me in the least.  I love snakes.  And I can even … Continue reading

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Radical Acceptance: Bad S*** Consistently Happens

Ace, The Big E, and I escaped to small-town Wisconsin for two days last week.  We crossed streets without getting run over, shopped in the farmers’ market, and snarfed preternaturally sweet corn-on-the-cob.  I basked in the luxury of off-line ignorance … Continue reading

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Innocence

We take the bus to the debate tournament – Molly and I in our backless sweaters, convinced that feminine wiles are a major player in our offensive strategy. Where do I meet him exactly?  Maybe in the hall between rounds, … Continue reading

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MWF Seeking SFuPo

Hey stranger.  Yeah, you.  The furry one with whiskers and cute pointy ears.  How about moving in with me for a long-term, committed, platonic love relationship? I’m a middle-aged gal who’s used to canine-ical polyamory.  Due to the recent demise … Continue reading

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Dear Class of 2017 Liberal Arts Graduates:

Congratulations.  I hope you aren’t saddled with unmanageable student debt. We need to talk.  I know you’re capable of reading above a third-grade level for prolonged periods of time, certainly longer than a 140-character tweet.  If forced to condense my … Continue reading

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