The Big E went back to school yesterday after Monday and Tuesday cancellations due to extreme cold, making a grand total of five weather days in the last month. Woo hoo! No school! Before I catalog a number of our scholarly activities, allow me to express how grateful I am for the familial flexibility that allows me to care for my son during periods of unexpected furlough.
Here are the highlights of our time together:
2) My charming son combined a couple recipes, formulating a new cleaning solution. I suggested that perhaps we could start with a quantity smaller than a gallon. He successfully halved the recipe. After we funneled the foamy potion into a spray bottle, he set about documenting functionality. I provided rags.
3) No sleeping in for us! The Big E woke up raring to go at 6:41 Monday morning. Me: “Go eat ice cream or sharpen knives or something. I just need ten more minutes…” Tuesday I set the alarm so Rafa wouldn’t be late for his vet appointment. The vet is conveniently located across the street from Keys Café and Bakery. The Big E and I ordered dessert for breakfast: hot chocolate and Belgian waffles with powdered sugar. My son declined the Log Cabin syrup upon learning that it doesn’t come from trees, swelling my heart in a moment of maternal pride. I was content to douse my own waffle in corn syrup and anemic imported strawberries.
4) The Big E ate dessert for lunch that day, too, in a breakfast replay featuring organic maple syrup and real butter.
5) We tried to go sledding with a school buddy. The mothers and sons got all bundled up and drove to a suitable hill. Halfway up the hill we understood why we were the only ones present as the wind whipped up over the crest in a 40 mph demonstration of Bernoulli’s Principle. The gale ripped the sleds from our hands and deposited them a quarter mile away on the neighboring golf course. Ice cream seemed a natural antidote to our weather woes.
6) The Big E dragged out every available edible petroleum byproduct and began building a cabin. “Mama, I just made the lake. I made it out of sprinkles. I didn’t actually try to make it this deep.”
7) I subjected my son to a Disney movie. Frozen, of course. He tolerated it. I went into it biased by Philip Cohen’s article, “’Help, My Eyeball Is Bigger Than My Wrist!’: Gender Dimorphism in Frozen”. I’d like to add a few addenda to Dr. Cohen’s insightful commentary.
a) “Help, my eyeball is bigger than my waist!”
b) “Help, I’m deferring to my husband and he’s an idiot!”
c) “Help, I created this awesome ice palace and forgot to make a kitchen!”
d) “Help, I’m subsisting entirely on one handful of chocolate!”
e) “Help, I’m in renal failure because I NEVER PEE!”
f) Help, Disney thinks redheads and trolls add sufficient diversity!
h) Hooray, Disney mocked its own True Love’s Kiss trope!
i) Hooray, females can save themselves!
j) Hooray, Kristen Bell knows how to sing!
8) I envisioned writing a story together, The Big E and I, and then asking Rafa to play the various (costumed) roles. Maybe we’ll write one on Friday when we have a scheduled release day. Argh.